THE HOBBIT Chapter 3
Far over the misty mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away ere break of day,
To find our long-forgotten gold.
- Dwarven Song
CHAPTER 3
Roast Mutton (Sheep)
Bilbo woke up suddenly. As he walked to the kitchen, he realized that his nightmares from the night before were not bad dreams at all! What a terrible mess there was in the kitchen! Not only had the Dwarves left without waking Bilbo up, they had used every bowl and plate and cup and glass for breakfast, and they did not wash anything! He was relieved that they were gone, but he also felt a little disappointed.
“Don’t be silly, Bilbo Baggins!” he said to himself. “Just imagine, you climbing mountains and fighting dragons! And at your age!” He began to eat some cake, which helped him forget the adventures from the night before. Suddenly, Gandalf appeared!
“My dear Hobbit, what are you doing here?” Gandalf said. “Did you not see the message?”
“What message?” said poor Mr. Baggins, very confused all over again.
“Confusticate and bebother all Hobbits!” Gandalf said in frustration. He walked over to the living room table and picked up a note that was left there. It was written on Bilbo’s own paper, which was very expensive! This is what the message said:
Thorin and Company to Burglar Baggins, good morning! We thank you for your hospitality. And we accept your professional assistance on our journey. Terms: cash when the job is finished, but only one fourteenth of the total, if any. All traveling expenses are guaranteed. Funeral expenses, if necessary, will be paid by our representatives.
We did not think it was necessary to wake you up, so we have left already in order to make all necessary preparations. We will wait for you at the Green Dragon Inn, in Bywater at 11:00 am sharp. Please be punctual.
Sincerely,
Thorin & Co.
“You have only ten minutes to get to the Green Dragon Inn,” said Gandalf.
“But -,” said Bilbo.
“There is no time for it,” said the Wizard.
“But -,” said Bilbo again.
“No time for that, either! Fly, you fool!”
Until the day he died, Bilbo had no idea how he left his comfortable Hobbit home, without a hat or walking stick or any money. He threw Gandalf his house keys and he ran as fast as his furry little feet could run down the road, past the big Mill, across The Water, and then on for another mile to Bywater, just as the clock was marking eleven. And to make matters worse, he realized he had left without a pocket handkerchief!
The Dwarves were waiting for Bilbo when he arrived, out of breath and confused all over again. There were many ponies, and each of them carried all kinds of baggage - food, tools and other important equipment. There was also a very small pony, especially for Bilbo.
“Up you go, Mr. Burglar! Let us begin our journey!” said Thorin, as this very unexpected party began walking down the path towards Lonely Mountain, far away to the East.
Soon, Gandalf arrived on a beautiful white horse. He brought many things from Bilbo’s home, including a lot of pocket handkerchiefs and Bilbo’s pipe and tobacco. Bilbo was very happy. After that, the party traveled along the path very happily, singing songs and telling stories. And Bilbo began to think that adventures were not such terrible things.
For the first few days of their journey, they traveled through familiar lands, where people were friendly and sang songs that Bilbo recognized. But soon, they entered the Lone-lands, where there were no people, no inns, and the roads were more difficult to travel. The hills around them began to get bigger and bigger, and on some of them there were old castles that did not look very comfortable.
It began to rain and it did not stop for many days. Travel became miserable - it was cold and wet. But even with the difficult conditions, the party continued eastward towards the Misty Mountains. “I’m sure the rain has made all our food and dry clothing wet,” thought Bilbo. “I haven’t even burgled yet, but I’m tired of burgling and everything that has to do with it! I wish I was at home in my nice hole next to the fire under a warm blanket!” It was not the last time Bilbo wished that!
Night was falling as the party needed to stop and find a dry place to sleep. The Dwarves, and especially the Hobbit, were anxious to begin cooking dinner. But it was not until that moment that they realized that Gandalf was not with them. So far he had come all the way with them, but the group was not sure if he was part of the adventure or only keeping them company for a while. But Gandalf had eaten the most food, talked the most, and laughed the most. But now he simply was not there!
They decided to make camp right where they were, in a wet patch under some trees. It was impossible to light a fire with all the rain. “What a perfect time for a Wizard to be helpful,” complained Thorin. Lighting suddenly cracked in the night, and one of the ponies ran away in terror! Fili and Kili tried to run after it and catch it, but the poor animal jumped into a river and drowned, with most of the food they had for the night, and the breakfast for the next day.
“We have lost the pony,” said Kili when he and Fili returned without the beast. “And dinner.“ “And breakfast,” said Fili. “But we saw a light in the distance. Maybe we should go and see what it is.” The Dwarves argued about this decision for some time - some saying it was too dangerous in this area so close to the mountains, and others saying that maybe there might be some food and protection from the weather.
Thunder sounded again and it began to pour even more than before. “There are fourteen of us, after all,” said Thorin. “And we have a burglar with us.” That decided the matter. So, the Dwarves, Hobbit and remaining ponies all walked off, wet and miserable, in the direction of the light.
Suddenly the red light was very bright through the trees. “Now it is the Burglar’s turn,” said Thorin. “Go and discover as much as you can about the light. See if there are people there and if it is safe,” he said to Bilbo. “Now, hurry and come back quickly if all is well! If not, come back if you can! If you can’t, hoot twice like a barn-owl and once like a screech-owl and we will try to help you.”
Thorin gave the Hobbit a push and Bilbo ran off towards the light, before he could explain that he did not know how to hoot like any owl! But Hobbits can move perfectly quietly in the forest. They are very proud of this ability. And not even an owl would have heard Bilbo on this night! So, naturally, he was able to walk right next to the fire and this is what he saw:
Three very large persons sitting around a very large fire. They were cooking lamb on long pieces of wood and licking their fingers. What a wonderful smell there was! There was also a barrel of good drink near the fire and they were drinking out of large cups.
But they were trolls, obviously trolls. Even Bilbo could see that: their large faces, their size, and the shape of their legs, not to mention the way they were talking, which was very rude and not appropriate for dinner parties.
“Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey, if it don’t look like mutton again tomorrow, Bert” said one of the trolls. “Aye, Tom, never a stinking bit of manflesh for a long time,” said another troll. “What were William a-thinking to bring us to this here region, anyway?” said Bert, and hit the arm of William, who was taking a drink from his cup. William choked and coughed. “Shut you mouths, you swine! All you do is complain like a couple of goblin pups. Eat your mutton, and shut your gobs!” said William.
Now Bilbo was no fool. He had read a lot about trolls - in the comfort of his Hobbit hole in Hobbiton, of course, and he knew that trolls would eat him or a Dwarf or a man faster than a Hobbit could blink an eye. But he did not want to return to the Dwarves with nothing - he was a “burglar” after all! So while Bert and Tom went to get more drink, Bilbo snuck up to William and put his little hand in his big pocket, and closed his fingers around a money bag. He thought, “I did it! This is the beginning of a fine career as a Burglar!”
As Bilbo pulled the heavy money bag out, William turned around and grabbed Bilbo by the neck, before he could escape. “Oi, who are you? Blimey, Bert, look what I caught me here!” said William. “What is it?” said the others, as they came into the light of the fire. “How am I supposed to know. What are you?” asked William.
“Bilbo Baggins, a bur…a Hobbit!” said poor Bilbo, shaking in terror, and wondering how to make a noise like an owl before they ate him.
“A burrahobbit?” they said, a bit confused. Trolls are not the smartest creatures on Middle Earth. “What’s a burrahobbit doing in my pocket?” asked William. “Hey, fellas, maybe there be more of ‘em around, and we’s can make a pie. Oi, you? Are there any more of you burrahobbits sneaking ‘round here?” asked William as he picked Bilbo up by the toes. “Yes, lots,” cried Bilbo, before he remembered not to talk about his friends. “No! None at all, not a single one,” he said immediately after.
“What d’you mean, ‘lots and none at all’?” asked William. “I say we roast ‘em alive right now!” Bert looked at Bilbo and said, “We can pull him into pieces and eat him raw!” Tom shook his head and said, “No, let’s sit on him and turn him into a jelly?” The trolls, as trolls will often do, began to argue about the many ways to cook and eat a Hobbit. They began fighting and rolling around on the ground around the fire, and when William dropped Bilbo, he had time to find a place to hide.
Bilbo did not go far, though. He was too scared and in too much pain to run away. While the trolls were fighting and Bilbo was resting, the Dwarves heard the noises and came to investigate. They walked right into the light of the fire. The moment Tom saw the Dwarves, he gave a tremendous howl! Now, if you did not know it, trolls absolutely detest Dwarves. When Tom screamed, William and Bert stopped fighting immediately and before the Dwarves knew what happened, the trolls had captured them and put each and every one of them in a dirty sack.
At that moment, Gandalf returned! But no one saw him. The trolls had just decided to roast the Dwarves now and eat them later. But a voice said, “Let’s not roast them, it will take too long.” Bert thought it was William and said, “Don’t start the argument again, William, or it will take all night!” William looked angrily at Bert and said, “Who’s arguing?” “You’re arguing’!” Bert replied to William “Liar!” Screamed William, and they all started fighting again.
“Stop it!” yelled Tom. “The night is about to end and dawn comes early here. Let’s eat them!” Then a voice said loudly, “Dawn take you all and turn you to stone!” At that moment the light from the rising sun came over the hill and the trolls raised their hands to cover their faces and were about to scream. But they never made a sound: the trolls were turned to stone where they stood. Birds came in the dawn and sat on their stone heads and sang a morning song.
Trolls, as you probably know, must be out of the sun before the day starts or they return to the elements they are made from, and never move again. That is what happened to Bert and Tom and William. They turned to stone in the sunlight.
“Excellent!” said Gandalf, as he came from behind a tree, and helped Bilbo to his feet. Then Bilbo understood. It was the Wizard’s voice that distracted the trolls and caused them to fight until the sun came up and turned them to stone.
The unhappy Dwarves were rescued from their sacks. They thanked Gandalf and suggested that Bilbo not steal from trolls in the future. “Stop complaining!” said Gandalf. “We must find the trolls’ cave. I’m sure we will find something we can use on our journey.”
With a key they found on William, they opened the door to a cave they discovered nearby. The smell was terrible when they entered the dark space. But there was a lot of food and clothing and many other useful things the trolls had stolen and kept in the cave. There were many pots of gold coins and several beautiful swords of various shapes and sizes. Gandalf and Thorin each took one of these, and Bilbo took a small knife in a leather scabbard (it would only be a pocket knife for a troll, but it was like a longsword for a Hobbit!).
“These look like good blades,” said the Wizard, drawing one of the swords from its scabbard and looking at it curiously. “These swords were not made by any troll, or by any ironmaster among men in these parts or in these days. When we can read this ancient writing on the blades, we will know more about them.”
They left the troll cave, with a good amount of gold and food and drink. And because their night had been disturbed, they slept until the afternoon. When they woke up, they buried the pots of gold in a secret location, in case they returned, and prepared to continue their journey.
“Where did you go?” Thorin asked Gandalf as they rode their ponies along the road.
“To look ahead,” he answered.
“And why did you come back when we needed you the most?” Thorin asked.
“Looking behind,” said Gandalf.
“What on Middle Earth do you mean, Gandalf?” asked Thorin in frustration.
“I went ahead to see what was on the road. It will soon become dangerous and difficult. But I met some friends from Rivendell on the way. They told me about some trolls that were making trouble near the road. You will reach Rivendell in a few days and we will speak with Elrond, who is master there. But Thorin, please be more careful next time, or this journey will be a very short one!” Thorin looked at Gandalf and said, “Thank you, great Wizard!”
