1984 Chapter 12
1984
Chapter 12
Room 101
He is much better. He is getting fatter and stronger every day. The new cell is more comfortable than the others he has been in. There is a bed and a chair to sit on. There is paper and an ink-pencil. They have given him a bath and they let him wash frequently in a metal bowl. They even give him warm water to wash with. They have given him new overalls, pulled out the rest of his teeth and given him new false teeth.
Weeks have passed, perhaps months. He can count time passing by his meals; he receives, he thinks, three meals in twenty-four hours. The food is surprisingly good, with meat every third meal. Once there was even a packet of cigarettes.
His mind grows more active. He sits down on his bed, his back against the wall, and begins to re-train his mind. He belongs to them now, that is agreed. As he realizes now, he has given in, he was ready to belong to them, a long time before he made the decision. From his first moment inside the Ministry of Love - and yes, even when he and Julia stood helpless in front of the telescreen in Charrington’s room - he understood that it was stupid to fight against the power of the Party.
He knew that for seven years the Thought Police had watched him, looking down on him like an insect walking along a path. They knew everything that he had said or done. They had played his voice back to him, shown him photographs. Some of them were photographs of Julia and himself. Yes, even…He could not fight against the Party now. And why should he? The Party was right.
He begins to write, with big child-like letters:
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
TWO AND TWO MAKE FIVE
And while he works on crimestop inside his mind, he wonders when they will shoot him. They might keep him here for years, they might let him out for a short time - as they sometimes do. But one day they will shoot him. You never knew when. Often they shoot you from behind, in the back of the head.
One day - or one night perhaps - he has a dream. He is waiting for them to shoot him. He is out in the sunshine and he calls out, “Julia! Julia! My love! Julia!"
He lays back on the bed, frightened. How many years has he added to his time in this cell by shouting out her name?
There is the noise of boots outside. O'Brien walks into the cell. Behind him are the officer with the emotionless face and the black-uniformed guards.
"You have had thoughts of betraying me," he says. "That was stupid. Tell me, Winston - and tell me the truth because I will know if you are lying - tell me, what do you really think of Big Brother?"
"I hate him."
"You hate him. Good. Then the time has come for you to take the last step. You must love Big Brother."
He pushes Winston towards the guards. "Room 101," he says.
Winston always knows if the cells are high up or low down in the building. The air is different. This place is many meters underground, as deep down as it is possible to go.
It is bigger than most of the cells he has been in. There are two small tables in front of him. One is a meter or two away, the other is near the door. He is tied to a chair so tightly that he cannot move, not even his head. He has to look straight in front of him.
O'Brien comes in. "You asked me once," he says, "what was in Room 101. I said that you knew the answer already. Everyone knows it. In Room 101 there is the worst thing in the world."
The door opens again. A guard comes in carrying a box. There is a tube at the front of it. He puts it down on the table near the door."
The worst thing in the world," says O'Brien, "is different for each person. It may be death by fire, or by water, or fifty other deaths. Sometimes it is something quite small, that does not even kill you." He moves to one side and Winston can now see what is on the table. It is a big metal box and through the holes in the side he can see movement. Rats.
"For you," says O'Brien, "the worst thing in the world is rats."
Winston was afraid before, but suddenly he understands what the tube is for. He feels very, very sick.
"You can't do that!" he screams. "O'Brien! What do you want me to do?"
"Pain alone," says O'Brien quietly, "is not always enough. The rat," he continues, like a teacher giving a lesson, "eats meat. In the poor parts of the town a mother cannot leave her baby outside because in ten minutes there will only be bones left. Rats are also very intelligent. They know when a human being is helpless.”
The rats are big and brown, they are making little high cries, fighting with each other. O'Brien moves the box until it is a meter from Winston's face.
"You understand this box and tube? One end of the tube goes into the box and the other, wider end goes over your face. When I press this switch, a door into the tube will open and the rats will run along it towards your face. Sometimes they attack the eyes first. Sometimes they eat through the face, into the tongue."
One end of the tube is put over his face. He can see the first rat, its face, its teeth.
He knows there is only one hope, one last hope. He needs to put someone else between himself and that rat. He needs to give them someone else. And he hears himself shouting, screaming, "Do it to Julia! Do it to Julia! Not me! Julia! I don't care what you do to her. Destroy her face, leave only bones. Not me! Julia! Not me!"
He hears O'Brien touch the switch and knows he has closed the door to the tube, not opened it.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
The Chestnut Tree Cafe is almost empty. It is the lonely time of fifteen hours. Music comes from the telescreens now but Winston is listening for news of the war. Oceania is at war with Eurasia. Oceania has always been at war with Eurasia. He drinks a glass of gin, although it tasts terrible. A waiter brings him that day's Times.
His finger moves on the table. He writes in the dust: 2 + 2= 5
"They can't get inside you," she said. But they could get inside you. And when they did, something inside you died.
He writes in the dust: 2+2 = 5
He saw her; he even spoke to her. There was no danger in it. He knew that. They take no interest in him now. They can even see each other again if either of them wants to. But they do not want to.
He met her by chance in the park on a cold day in March. She was fatter now. She walked away from him at first. When he caught her, he put his arm around her waist but did not try to kiss her. He did not want to kiss her.
They sat down on two iron chairs, not too close together. There were no telescreens here but possibly hidden microphones. It did not matter.
"I betrayed you," she said.
"I betrayed you, too," he said.
"In the end they do something so terrible that you say ‘don't do it to me, do it to somebody else, do it to the person I love.’ You only care about yourself."
"You only care about yourself," he had agreed.
And he had meant it. He had not just said it, he had wished it. He had wanted her at the end of the tube when they…
Something changed on the telescreen in the Chestnut Tree Cafe. The music stopped and the face of Big Brother filled the telescreen. Winston looked up at the enormous face with the mustache. Tears ran down his face and he was happy. He had won the fight with himself.
He loved Big Brother.
